I’ve been told that sacrificing your happiness for the one you love is the truest and purest kind of love, and I’ve often wondered how true this is. According to the normal ideology of romance, love is often associated with lots of sacrifices and little or no compromises. However, realistically it’s the opposite. I personally think that relationships should have fewer sacrifices and more compromises, but I may be wrong. This is just my opinion.
The problem usually lies in differentiating between the two. What does sacrifice really mean and what does compromise entail?
According to the dictionary; Sacrifice means the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim.
Compromise means a settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc., by reciprocal modification of demands.
It is therefore safe to say a woman sacrifices her career for her family. This is not a compromise. When compromising, you give up something that you want or desire when sacrificing, you give up something that you actually have. A very good example of a compromise is when two lovers agree to sleep with a dim light rather than with the lights off that way the room is neither dark nor bright.
One can safely compare compromise and sacrifice with envy and jealousy. When envious, you want something that you do not have and when jealous, you fear losing something that you already have. Sacrifice is so common and natural among intense lovers that it comes so naturally that both parties aren’t even aware, that is until the one who’s made the sacrifice begins to regret it.
No one’s saying don’t make sacrifices, but please think deeply before you do. Are you sure you won’t be bitter about it and regret it later in future? Is it what you really want? Are you being forced? Is it worth it? Is there a balance of power?
If you willingly make sacrifices and your partner doesn’t reciprocate you may end up being the one who is always expected to give up and give in and this may result in long-term unhappiness and resentment. Honestly, sacrifices aren’t always easy and are so closely related to compromises that one can hardly differentiate between the two.
Before making a sacrifice ask yourself these questions:
~how committed are you?
~would your partner do the same for you?
~does your partner know it’s a sacrifice?
~is there a better solution?
~most importantly, are you happy?
One very important thing people should know is what and what not to sacrifice and knowing when you’re sacrificing too much. I would shed more light on this in my next write up. Until then.